Returning to the Heart: Reflections of a First-Year Formand Aspirant

As the second day of the 15th Formands Encounter unfolded with the theme “Redi Ad Cor Et, Inde Ad Deum (Return to the heart, and from there to God),” I found myself deeply moved as a first-year formand aspirant. The encounter was not just a scheduled activity in the seminary calendar, but a personal invitation to pause, to listen, and to honestly reflect on how God is slowly transforming my heart both internally and externally through formation.

The second day began with the praying of Lauds and the Office of the Readings. In those early moments of communal prayer, I became aware of my own desire to grow closer to God. It reminded me that formation begins with prayer, where the heart learns to listen before it learns to act.

The talk of Fr. Bob Cabanag, OAR, deeply resonated with me, especially when he said, “Formation happens within real life and real time as God forms us.” I realized that formation is truly a blessing. Looking back on my stay in the seminary, I see how God has always answered my prayers, though not in the ways I initially expected. When I prayed for wisdom, He gave me problems to solve. When I prayed to become the best version of myself, He allowed obstacles to come my way. Through these struggles, God has been patiently shaping me into the person I am becoming today.

The Holy Mass celebrated by Rev. Fr. Paul “Yong” Demilliones, OAR further deepened this realization. His homily emphasized the mutual help between lower-year and higher-year formands. As a first-year aspirant, I felt encouraged seeing the higher years present. Their perseverance and commitment inspired me, and I found myself hoping and praying that one day, I could reach the level they are now.

In the afternoon, Manualia allowed us to express formation through service. Cleaning the seminary and its surroundings together taught me that humility and brotherhood are formed not only in prayer and study, but also in shared labor.

The Amazing Race brought excitement and teamwork, reminding me that formation also includes joy, entertainment, and cooperation. As night came, the Service of the Light led by Rev. Fr. Arian Josef Ocheda, OAR, master of postulants, together with the opportunity for confession, became a powerful moment of returning to the heart and seeking God’s mercy.

As the day ended with fraternal bonding, I felt grateful yet humbled. Hearing the sharing about the many stages of seminary formation was overwhelming, knowing how long the journey toward the priesthood is. Still, I ended the day aware that I am a seminarian who needs much improvement, especially in my spiritual life. Yet, with God’s grace, I remain hopeful, trusting that He who called me will continue to form my heart, one day at a time.